Great news! All indications are pointing to Eden being past most or all of her anxiety challenges. The last two Wednesdays that Eden has seen the Play Therapist, the counselor has not felt the need to continue any further therapy. Because of our move to Texas, the counselor is going to see Eden once after our Christmas vacation trip to Oregon. This visit will be a good safeguard to see if this trip heightens or triggers her anxiety in some way. Suzy and I are not expecting this, but are thankful for the therapist's thoughtful, professional approach to our daughter's emotional health.

To Suzy and me, the most obvious sign of Eden's health is that she is "just herself again." We had noticed she was a bit more socially reluctant, more fragile emotionally, more withdrawn than usual. None of this was drastic, but it concerned us. I'd forgotten just how vibrant and interactive she was before all of this started several months ago. She is even back to standing up to her older sister and pushing both of her sisters' buttons once again. We've never been happier to see her be such a nuisance! :) Even more than this, however, she is just bouncing around the house, quick to jump up when asked to do something. She gets excited about things like she used to and is just more energetic and happy. We give thanks to you for your prayers, and we praise God for all of this!

We are again thankful to the Richland Hills church family for the care they have show for Eden and our family. Suzy and I are still being blessed with emotional and spiritual support through new friends, and Eden has received more support and healing from God through prayer than perhaps anything else. God has carefully taken care of our family through each step of this challenge. Thank you, God!

Whatever the source(s) of the anxiety was for Eden--long-distance move, spiritual attack, loss of friendships--God has seen us through and protected and comforted our "Eden girl" in ways that we could not. We've learned more about the reality of spiritual warfare, the authority God gives us to pray in the name of Jesus, and the all-powerful God we have as our Defender. We've learned to be more tender with Eden as well as with Kezia and Jordan through this process.

Perhaps this anxiety challenge is completely over. We pray this is the case, but please continue to include Eden in your prayers. I'll post here again if there is reason to ramp up our prayers. Thank you all!

in His grip,
Lanny

Dear Family & Friends,



Thank you all for being willing to pray for Eden and our family. We are praying God will give Eden peace and that the source(s) of her anxiety will be discerned and put away. We thank God for putting us in the care of David Gililland, counselor at Richland Hills Church of Christ, and Dr. Kay Trotter, psychologist/play therapist. Through David’s leading, Suzy and I have sought out one or two prayer partners each and a couple who can coach & mentor us over the next few months. Several have agreed to help us in this particular way, and we’re especially grateful to them and for David encouraging us to do this. David explained to Suzy and me that our degree of spiritual and emotional health likely sets the ceiling for Eden’s emotional health, so having great support for us as a couple right now is key to Eden’s progress.



Eden will visit Dr. Trotter weekly for another 7 weeks or so—typically on Wednesday afternoons. At this point, not too much has been learned through the therapy, but it’s early and the therapist anticipates learning more in future weekly visits. Eden has shared less info with “Miss Kay” the last couple visits than she did in the first one; Dr. Trotter says this could mean she is feeling less anxiety and feels less urgency to talk; on the other hand, she could be resisting sharing for some reason and still feels a lot of anxiety. Her hair twirling seems a bit less the last few days yet her general interaction and mood seems a little less happy-go-lucky than “the usual Eden.” These last two days she has been running a fever which could, by itself, explain her mood. [Actually, for running a 101 degree fever she actually seems to be doing great!] We will put future prayer updates on my blog at http://tuckertrivia.blogspot.com/ and I’ll update you all via email whenever there’s a new post. If you’d like background on Eden’s anxiety you can find it on an earlier blog post as well.



We just appreciate your prayers through this unknown territory. We take comfort and even joy knowing that God responds to each prayer and even changes his plans, at times, because of our conversations with him. He knows the future, but we know he will also change things through our prayers in Jesus’ name. Thanks!



With love,
Lanny & Suzy

Prayers for Eden--10.23.09

10/23/09

Dear Family & Friends,

Suzy and I covet your prayers for Eden right now. As most of you know, Eden began twirling her hair mid-September and is doing it so often that she has started losing it in above her ears on both sides. It has increased during the past week, so last week we saw a Richland Hills CoC counselor who felt she was definitely experiencing some sort of emotional anxiety. He referred us to a psychologist/play therapist in Flower Mound to do a more thorough assessment. Eden saw her for an hour Tuesday and then Suzy and I met with her for 90 minutes yesterday.

The play therapist, Dr. Trotter, and Eden had a good session in which Eden quickly opened up and shared some things through her play with different toys that were helpful for Dr. Trotter’s initial assessment. Both the Richland Hills counselor and Dr. Trotter agree that there is nothing physical (e.g. autism, etc.) that seems to be delaying Eden’s development or causing her anxiety/hair twirling behavior. They also agree that Eden has a lot of anxiety and that she doesn’t know how to express it verbally given her level of development at this young age. They explain that Eden is expressing/communicating anxiety by twirling her hair (and, unfortunately, having hair fall out in the process). Suzy and I think that Eden also is a bit less socially interactive and has less of an appetite at times. She’s herself in some situations but isn’t consistently the vibrant, bouncy Eden that we know her to be.

Dr. Trotter would like to provide therapy for Eden once a week for ~15 weeks (a standard regimen of visits for interpreting and addressing the needs of a child with this level of anxiety). She may involve each/all of our family members in the therapy process over the next 15 weeks. She also gave us some basic understandings of how to respond to her twirling and how to help soothe Eden’s anxiety for which we were very thankful. We want to do anything possible to help Eden and get her through this, of course, so it was nice to get some initial tips and how-tos to guide us in caring for Eden.

Duane and Debbie Jenks (Duane is a Missions Minister who we know fairly well at Richland Hills CoC) came and prayed over our home two nights ago and, upon hearing about the former (apparently) Buddhist occupants of our house coupled with Eden’s anxious/hair twirling behavior (which coincided with the time we moved into our home) they directed many of their prayers toward the possibility that something from the spiritual realm is oppressing Eden/our family/our home. This is an especially disturbing thought to us, of course, but we’re just wanting to address the problem from whatever angles seem wise and needed. Needless to say, we’re thankful for the Jenks’ prayers, insights, and compassion for our family. They are obviously people of deep passion for the Lord, and we have forged a new friendship with them simply through their visit to our home.

Suzy and I will meet again with David Gililland, the RHCC counselor, on Monday. By then he will have conferred with Dr. Trotter so he can his most informed suggestion for a future course of therapy for Eden. Richland Hills is graciously offering to pay for whatever portion of the counseling we cannot afford. [Thank you, Father!]

I shared this whole scenario with Sam and Phil at the office last night and then with Bob and Mark (all coworkers of mine) each separately today. We’re getting wonderful support and prayers all around us for which we are truly thankful. These guys are “our only real TX family” at this point, so we cherish their friendship. I regret not sharing this information sooner with you, our blood & spiritual family, but it’s been both a busy time and a difficult situation to know how to describe or get our own understanding of. We’re still in the initial stages of learning about all that is going on for Eden, but it’s certainly time to ask you to join us in prayer.

Thank you for your prayers, however long this season may last. We pray it will end soon and we ask you to join us in praying for Eden’s sense of security, peace, and for her little 4-yr-old heart to fully understand God’s protection, love and power to help her at all times. We’ve claimed Joshua 1 (“Be bold and courageous and do not be afraid; the Lord is with you wherever you go…”) as our family’s verse for right now. Since Eden’s understanding and trust in God is almost fully wrapped up in how she perceives Suzy and me and our relationship with God, please pray that Suzy and I will be the best possible examples of God’s safety, comfort, protection and peace for her.

With our whole family’s love,
Lanny, Suzy & girls

Cooling to 97 Degrees Friday...

Our third daughter, Jordan Joy, is 14 months old and just beginning to say her first words. Of course, “Dada” was her very first word (as it also was with my other two girls! Yes, I must brag!) and “Mama” also quickly followed. She also knows how to say “bye” when we’re leaving and “uh-oh” when she drops something. However, these few words have been the sum total of her vocabulary until two days ago...

It was a long and exhausting day. Up at 4:45am to shower, pack, and have all five Tuckers on board the Holiday Inn Express shuttle to catch our 8:45am, one-way flight to Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport. We were thankful it was a nonstop. We became even more thankful for the nonstop after we realized our family was seated on the last row where you get to know the flight attendants and all the passengers as they stand in line for the restroom directly behind your seats. Oh, joy!

We were thankful to be together on the flight because this trip represented our most tangible way of saying “We are moving to Texas!” The long-awaited Tucker family trek from Portland to Fort Worth was finally coming to completion! As the American Airlines flight landed safely at DFW Int’l we rolled our bulging carry-on bags up the ramp to a 101-degree welcome to the Lone Star state. The much-anticipated heat was finally a firsthand experience—and, oh, what a heat wave we stepped into. The five-day forecast of high temperatures is 101, 103, 101, 101, and 97. Yes! A cooling trend on Friday of only 97 degrees!?!

Thirty minutes later our family of five exited the baggage claim area with 250 lbs of luggage (five pieces averaging 49.999 lbs each) stacked like a leaning tower of Pisa on the luggage cart I rented. In my stubborn frugality, I refused all offers of help from the luggage caddies and slowly but surely managed my family’s leaning tower over and around the hurdles and oncoming traffic of DFW International Airport. Once outside we were all immediately enveloped once again in the joys of 101-degree weather and were more than thankful to see our shuttle pull up after only another 10 minutes. “Raise your hand if you’re SURE” is a request that not a single Tucker family member could accommodate at this point. While Suzy loaded the children, I gave in and let the shuttle driver help me load the car seat and what, at this point, was truly feeling like a half-ton of luggage. Is it anathema to tip someone only a dollar? My Scottish blood (I must have a good bit) screams, “Absolutely not!”

Whew! A/C is a blessing our family had not previously given such hearty thanks for, and this shuttle had soft, cool seats and a powerful A/C unit blowing down on us in a way that briefly brought us back to our senses. All too soon we seemed to arrive at our car in the overnight parking lot. I yelped and jumped back, burning my hand as I tried to open the door by its blazing hot, black handle. There’s no doubt in my mind whatsoever that the hood of that car would have easily fried an egg if only given the opportunity. The gray leather seats in our borrowed Chevy Tahoe were each holding heat well and proved it to my two oldest girls by slightly burning the back of their thighs. Hey, we’re from Oregon! We don’t know leather can get that hot—ever! Once the girls’ tears subsided (slightly) and they were buckled into their booster seats, Suzy somehow managed to strap Jordan into the car seat between the older two.

As we all yearned for the A/C to turn the Tahoe’s interior from fire into ice, Suzy and I could both tell we were quickly nearing the end of our “parental rope.” The early rise in Sacramento, the long flight “scented” so sweetly by the plane’s overused toilet, the leaning tower of Pisa, and the scorching welcome to Texas heat. All these had combined to create an extremely sweaty, impatient Tucker family and we were about to erupt like a volcano. The tears of our two oldest girls had given way to the incessant complaint: “Why is it soooo HOT here?” I was at my wit’s end and would have sold my birthright to a 7-Eleven cashier for five large Slurpees. Unfortunately, no 7-Eleven could be found. However, in that moment of frenzy, sweat, and singed thighs I heard a new word—as clear as a bell—come out of Jordan’s mouth in the back seat: “Hot!”

I turned (yes, while still driving) and asked, “What did she say?” Kezia and Eden looked at me in mutual disbelief and exclaimed, “She said ‘HOT,’ Daddy. She said “HOT.” Jordan, say it again. Say HOT!” Jordan, not one to perform on demand was happy to oblige this time: “Hot! Hot! HOT!” All at once, we all started laughing and I almost ran off the road as I looked in the rear view mirror to see Jordan’s expression as she kept saying her new word. She knew she had our attention and she just wouldn’t stop saying it over and over. Like the perfect timing of a gifted comedian, Jordan’s ever-so-appropriate, new word had changed the expressions and attitudes of every member of our family. Suddenly the heat, our exhaustion, the burnt legs—all were laughable because of the perfectly-timed, new word of our one-year-old girl!

God has countless ways to get us through life’s challenging moments. Sometimes he unexpectedly uses even our youngest children to bring us into his overflowing joy. Thank you, God, for Jordan Joy and for giving us such laughter and joy along with our hot, Texas welcome!

Thoughts on Taking the MRN Job in Dallas

Many of our friends and family must be thinking…

How could the Tuckers choose to leave the NW? Really…Texas?? Does Lanny need a mental health assessment?

o Well, yes, but we’ve known that for some time.

Suzy loves California; are they moving because she likes the heat?

o You’re right, she does love a sizzling, summer day since she grew up in the hot summers of Red Bluff, CA. However, when she got off the plane in Dallas and took in her first view of Texas terrain she said: “Honey, you told me it was flat, but I guess I just didn’t understand what you meant. Something feels wrong. I can see forever.”

Could Lanny be a “closet” Dallas Cowboys fan?

o Uh….NO!

Perhaps you mean Dallas, Oregon…surely not Dallas, TEXAS??

o We wish Missions Resource Network was located in Oregon, but, no, Texas is where they’re located.

OK really, why would you choose to live in Texas over Oregon?

o If it were that simple we would have never even interviewed for this job. Portland’s beauty is unequalled, and Dallas certainly doesn’t make the list of “most beautiful places on earth.” Most would place it on quite an opposite list. It’s the job; it’s certainly not the place. This position attracts us because it seems clear that our service to God through MRN will be the best way for us to help the growth of God’s Kingdom. We are determined to live in the way that is most useful to God. Although our track record is imperfect like everyone else’s, we believe this ministry is the best way for us to be useful as Christ’s servants.

o In graduate school, Lanny studied missions and divinity. He pursued these studies to prepare well for work as a missionary in a foreign country. God captured his heart for mission work through a 1991 Harding summer internship in Eldoret, Kenya. Since then God unexpectedly called us to serve at PUMP, helping put legs to a dream that his sister Lori Van DerKamp had prayed and dreamed about since the mid-1990s. Although it was the last place Lanny expected to be doing mission work, his first mission field was right in his own backyard: Portland’s inner-city. Now—with double irony—we are moving from one of the least “churched” states in the U.S. to do mission work in the Bible Belt. God certainly has a sense of humor and surely has enjoyed surprising us by his unexpected, seemingly upside-down method of leading us into his will.

So, what does Missions Resource Network do?

o Missions Resource Network (http://www.mrnet.org/) has four key strategies. They…

1 Mobilize church-planting teams
2 Multiply the number and effectiveness of missions-active churches
3 Nurture missionaries and their families
4 Advance strategic thinking and cooperation in missions

What does Lanny’s role look like in this new ministry?

o He will (1) equip various Churches of Christ to be more motivated and excellent in the way they send missionary teams to foreign countries to plant churches, (2) work with others to develop and prepare mission teams who will serve God in foreign countries, and (3) raise money so MRN can expand its work with churches and mission teams.

Although we are certain God is calling us into this ministry, we are overflowing with mixed emotions in light of the drastic changes this means for us in terms of family, friends, and church (and natural beauty surroundings). During our thorough decision-making process one friend shared this encouragement:

Last night I was reading a biography of J.P. Sanders, one of (Columbia Christian College’s) former presidents. I knew him as Dean Sanders a year after he left a very comfortable position as dean of Lipscomb and went to Pepperdine. As he sought advice on whether he should leave his job at Lipscomb with his good salary and close friends to go to Pepperdine, which was in severe danger of closing its doors forever, and at a reduced salary, this is the advice he received from Nile Yearwood, a close friend and a member of Lipscomb’s board who did not want J.P. to leave: “Well, J.P., make the decision that would be the easiest to defend if you appeared before the Lord tomorrow.” That’s what Dean Sanders did and he and Norvel Young rescued Pepperdine from certain disaster and built it into one of the nation’s leading universities.

We decided to interview for this job simply to investigate it and to make sure we didn’t have lingering regrets. After the three-day trip to Texas we found ourselves surprised at how interested and impressed we were with MRN’s mission, godly staff, extended families, and the way in which we were invited to fit into their future vision.

Reaching this final decision has been like a gut-wrenching roller coaster—equally exhilarating and nauseating all at once. Lanny will likely start his work at MRN on June 1st, allowing him to complete the year with Cascade College and help the college finish strong. We will cherish the remaining months we have here in Portland. Suzy and our girls will likely spend some time in Red Bluff, California, with Suzy’s parents and then travel down to Texas in June or July. The timing will depend on how selling our home in Portland and purchasing a home in Dallas all plays out.

We would sincerely appreciate everyone’s prayers as we prepare for this big family transition. We love and appreciate all our Portland-area friends and hope to see you before we go. If you’re ever passing through Dallas/Fort Worth we hope you’ll make plans to stay in the Tucker hotel!

With Love in Christ,
Lanny, Suzy, Kezia, Eden, and Jordan Joy

Bloggin'?

Am I bloggin'? You know, the feeling you get when you're emailing someone you haven't talked with in what is potentially enough time for his or her email to have changed 3 or 4 times?? Yes, that's the feeling coming over me as I type this first blog entry--simply hoping I'm getting through.

Oh the bliss and adventure of ignorance.

May this blog site be useful for something!